Update – I guess you all deserve it

I have not done an update in a while because I just have not taken the time to sit down and write about what is going on in my life. There have been a couple of major incidents, but nothing so alarming as to warrant a blog update. I go to blogs everyday and see that many of you update daily...blessings to you who are dedicated.....you have much more strength than I do.

Anyway, the first major thing is that my oldest daughter has pretty much gotten the all clear from her urologist that she is pretty healthy. He wants to do another ultrasound in six months, but for the most part she is off the hook. I am so happy about this and have been praising God for days now because I know it was him that made things better for her.

Secondly, I have gotten into a tiff with my ex. You see we have a 10 year old daughter (mentioned above) who is extremely mature for her age. She will be 11 in a few weeks and is little Ms. Independent. She loves to be able to do things on her own and really believes she is about 16…LOL. Anyway, I have been letting her leave for school and come home on the bus by herself for about 3 weeks now since school has started on the days that she is with me. She is with her Dad a couple of days a week and on those days I make sure she is at daycare with her sister for him to pick up/drop off. Anyway, she told him that she was being left alone for up to 30-45 minutes at a time in the morning and about the same in the afternoon. I figure she is mature enough and needs the chance to prove her independence. So, I have left her do this to see how things go. Well, he does not agree with her being able to leave and come home on her own. He thinks she is too young and that someone could easily snatch her up and take her away.

While I agree with that, I also know that she is smart and knows the routine at our house. She comes home, locks all the doors, calls me to let me know she is there, gets a snack, starts/finishes her homework and does not answer the door/phone until we are home. I call at least two times to check on her before I know someone (i.e. my husband) has made it home to be with her. In the morning, I leave her at home and call her at least twice, sometimes more to ensure she is OK and that she is doing something constructive like reading or craft (drawing). No TV, No Computer No contact with outside world until we are home.

I guess this is just going to have to be a point that we agree to DISAGREE on because I don’t think it should change. She hates going to daycare. She is the oldest one there, all her friends make fun of her when she goes and call her “baby” etc. I just think she needs some independence and the ability to build some trust.

In addition, my ex and I had it out about a backpack of all things. When school started I bought both of the girls a backpack of their choice. My oldest daughter chose an over the shoulder bag, that I knew she would end up hating and tried to talk her out of, but she insisted on getting it. Well, now 4 weeks later, school is well under way and she hates the bag she chose. So, she asked if we could go to a local department store because they had Jan sport backpacks on sale and wanted one. I told her that she could get one, but she had to buy it. She had a perfectly good bag to use and if she wanted something new she needed to use her own money.

She was a bit upset at first because she has been saving to buy and Ipod and this would take about $25 from her Ipod money. Well, she really wanted the backpack and took her money and bought it. She told her Dad about it and he flipped out. How dare I make her use HER money to buy a SCHOOL supply? He didn’t even let me explain the situation, just jumped all over me. Well, he eventually got the whole story and somewhat apologized, but not really.

Now, I am waiting. Waiting for the next shoe to drop. About three months ago I asked for court ordered mediation. I asked for the courts to require him to go to mediation so that we could talk about some issues that have been on my mind for a while. I don’t trust he and I getting together on our own for several reasons, one I don’t like to be ALONE with him. I am not scared that he will physically hurt me, but I want a third party there (impartial, not his wife or my husband) there to hear what is said. Another reason is that I know his wife would never allow him and me to be alone together. The two of them got together by cheating while we were married and I know she doesn’t trust him further than she can throw him. I am fine with not being alone with him…see reason one.

Anyway, I am waiting because I know once he gets the subpoena to appear in mediation he is going to turn into a real asshole. Even bigger than he is now. I am sure he is going to think this is his chance to get all the bad parenting things I have done with the girls out on the table. To be honest, I don’t really know what I expect from this mediation other than I want him to stop trying to control what happens in my house. I don’t tell him how to run his house, but he sure does not have a problem telling me how to run mine.

I ask for prayers during this time. I know that I will sure need them and the support of being able to come here and vent will be good also.

So there is my update…hope all of you are having a better life than I am right now.

On an up note, we got another pet ….Zack…a 4-6 week old abandoned kitty. Needless to say we are making adjustments…LOL.

Blessings!