Well, school has started here once again. I’m not sad that school has started because that means more of a routine, fun trips, learning new things and tired kids. I think I am sad for other reasons. I think I am going through a bit of a depression here.
A little background – I went on anxiety meds about a year and a half ago. My last job was just a horror to be at, add to that the stress my ex was putting on me and the over all stress of being a wife/mother and my brain couldn’t handle it. I decided to see someone about it and was diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder. OK, so now what. I was told to go see my primary care doctor and he prescribed an anxiety med for me.
I went off of them about 6-8 months ago because the stress in my life was starting to diminish and I was learning new skills to cope with it better. I quit cold turkey and within about 3 weeks I was so depressed. I went to my doctor and told him what I had done. After being read the riot act I was told that I needed to balance my chemicals and we went on a slow withdrawal method. Well, this last week was my last week on meds. I think coming down off those meds, plus my oldest daughter will be in junior high next year and my husband has been driving me mad lately has contributed to my depression.
In addition, I have been working with a trainer for about 6 months now with very little results. Well, today I finally broke down and told him about being on anxiety meds and how I had come off and now I was feel a little down. He said “I knew something wasn’t right because most people lose weight and gain muscle so quickly with me and I have been beating the hell outta you and not getting results.” He has been as frustrated as I have been. So, I guess part of the reason that I have been having slow results is due to the meds I was on. I am hoping that by this next week we will really start to see some changes. He believes so and I am praying for it.
I did some research the last few days and have learned that the particular med I was on does tend to have an affect on weight. Mostly people gain weight, which I didn’t, but it also said it can be hard to lose weight. So now I know. I think this depression will pass and as long as I can get through the next few weeks without any kind of stress that is too overwhelming I should be good…however, I do have an ex to deal with, plus Ms. PMS is making a show today…LOL.
I have to say that this last week I have been watching only a couple of reality TV programs. I watched Workout on Tuesday and felt horrible for Jackie when she came home to a destroyed house. How disrespectful of her employees to do that to her home. I honestly think that she and her girlfriend need to break-up. Who honestly BITES their significant other when they are angry? I mean I yell, scream and throw a fit, but I don’t bite my DH.
I fell asleep watching Project Runway last night. I got about as far as the models trying to kill each other to choose a fashion icon. I didn’t see who got kicked off last night, but immediately went online this morning to read Tim’s blog. I hate to see that Bradley was eliminated. He was one of my favorites, but I felt like he was kind of on the edge after the last challenge. What is up with Laura…..man she just seems like the type of person who is going to pick a fight. Angela is surprising me….but I think she needs to go….those grandma circles are killing me…LOL.
My last thing for today is about work. I have been at my job for about a year now. I was due for a review the middle of July, but still have not gotten it. I keep waiting and waiting and still nothing. Who knows what is going on, but I am frustrated and a little upset that I have not gotten any feedback. I know that I am doing a good job, but having someone actually tell you that is what you really need to hear sometimes.
I hope all is well with those out there in blogger land. I have been reading the blogs to the right everyday. I am so glad my friend Andrew got back from his trip. He didn’t tell us he was going and had a few of us worried….Don’t do that again…LOL.
Blessings,
Lisa
3 comments:
Hiya Lisa, thanks for sharing your condition with us. I hope you'll 'jump' out from your conditon and just think positively.
Remember this 'whatever dun break you can only make you stronger', a friend told me this and I find that it keeps me going. Hope this keep you going.
Luv from Singapore
Lisa,
Hang in there. I guess I have been silent about life because I don't know how or where to begin. Right now, I don't feel anxious, I just feel flat. AND you know it's impossible to be the mom you need=want to be when you are not at your best. So, let's just pray that things are on the upswing. You'll start feeling better, and hopefully I will too! xoxo,liv
I'm sorry to hear that you've been so sad, Lisa. I'm never quite sure what to say, but maybe this would help.
Maybe take some time to block out the noises of the world (gym, tv, your past, etc...)and focus wholly on Him. I've had some struggles over the last few years, but these last few months have been so much better. It's because I realized that I was being so distracted by the 'noises' of the world, that I wasn't able to hear what God had to share with me. I've been working so much harder at putting my focus solely on Him. By doing that it made things so much better in my life and in my family. Even more so, I realized that it really isn't about me anyway, it's ALL about Him.
I'll be praying that you can come out of this dark spot and that the Son will be shining even brighter in the end.
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