It’s a mass….but 99% not cancer

So we went to my daughter’s appointment today with the urologist. The doctor was very vague. We don’t know what it is…but 99% sure it is not cancer. So where do we go from here…..MRI…yep…my 10 year old will have an MRI in the next 7-10 days. I hate this…I talked to God and want off the ride…but no…not yet…my ticket still has a few more spins.

Other than that…life here is pretty slow. I have been very tired the last few days. I am not sleeping well. I think part of it is from worry, part of it is from fatigue from worry and the other part is just bad sleeping habits.

We are going to try to get out of town this weekend. We are thinking about possibly going to see my folks and just spend some time with them. The girls will be with their Dad all weekend…so it will be good to get away.

I am worried about another fellow blogger….Iris. She has not updated her site in almost two weeks. I am praying things are OK with her.

I am also concerned for a blogger that I have really come to enjoy his posts. Pipe – here’s praying that things went well today.

Hope everyone else is OK.

Blessings,
Lisa

Newest Member of the Family

I thought I would post a picture of the new pooch we acquired yesterday. She is such a love and I think she is going to work out fine.

Enjoy.

Lisa

Any advice?

I want to back up all of my posting over the last several month. A couple of people I have read on their blogs have done this. Anyone have any advice on how to accomplish this?

Thanks,
Lisa

It’s not good, but it could be worse

Got some phone calls from my daughter’s doctor on Friday. We have an appointment with a bladder/kidney specialist on Tuesday. He is a urologist and I trust my daughters doctor completely in that she would only send us to someone she would take her own children too.

Anyway, we are awaiting the new appointment because a lesion/ulcer/growth has been found in my daughter’s bladder wall. Of course, being the type A person I am I have Googled every word that the doctor gave to me over the phone this last week. You know us women, we worry a problem in to oblivion and when it comes back somewhere between nothing and deathbed we are OK with things. I have worried about everything from a non-invasive growth to bladder cancer in the span of three days. Talk about being worn out.

Again I am asking for prayers for my family and especially my daughter. I know that the doctors that we are going to are super skilled and talented. I know that God has a reason for this test and I am sure before it is over I am going to wonder why it has been placed here at all. I pray that I can find peace because right now, between the worry of having to tell my daughter and the worry of what may/may not happen has gotten me to the point of not sleeping.

On a lighter note, we have a new member of the family. A good friend of mine has allowed us to rescue her AKC registered chocolate lab. They were going to have to get rid of her and I couldn’t see that happening in a good way. Therefore, we got her and she is so sweet. Our cat doesn’t love her yet and she has been here less than a day, but over all things seem to be going well. Pray that they will continue to go well and that we can keep her with us.

Well, I am going to sign off now. I have a few things to do before the girls get home from their father’s house. Plus I got this really cool Disney Photomosaic puzzle that I want to get started on. I love mosaic pictures and to have a puzzle that is supposed to eventually look like Mickey Mouse, but be out of a whole bunch of other pics is really fascinating to me.

Hope you all have a blessed weekend.

Lisa

Soothing my Soul.....

This is my new favorite Christian Alternative Song. I tried to find a link for the song, but can’t seem to figure out where or if it is available yet. I know that many who read my blog do not pray, but I really liked the words of this song. Especially with what is going on with my daughter right now I am amazed how much music can speak to your soul.

Blessings,
Lisa

Matt Redman -You Never Let Go

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this lifeI won’t turn backI know
You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know
You here on the earth

Chorus:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Poor Pluto

I can’t believe that Pluto is no longer a planet….not that I am a big astrologer, but I liked having the nine planets. I even made a model of the solar system in 5th grad for the science fair. Complete with light bulb sun that moved the planets because of the heat….really cool…my dad did a great job…LOL.

So imagine how I felt this morning when I went on MSNBC and found out that a bunch of people across the globe from where I am decided that Pluto is no longer a planet. What gives them the right to decide it is no longer a planet. I guess I’ll just have to get over it.

I got a call from the doctor today. My daughter is being referred to another doctor and hopefully we will get some straight answers. Continued prayers are greatly appreciated. Hopefully sometime this next week or so we will have some sort of answers.

Right now, the kids are with their dad and I’m enjoying a quiet night at home with my hubby. I took a long bubble bath, read more of my trashy novel, and had some oatmeal for dinner and am ½ watching this special on MSNBC about Scott and Lacy Peterson. I think I will probably be asleep soon.

Hope all is well in blogger land. BTW, my dear husband is going to be setting up his own blog to display his sketches/artwork. When he gets it up and running I’ll post a link.

Blessings,
Lisa

Survived…now we wait…

Well, I survived my daughter’s tests….does that make sense. She was not scared or horrified, but I was scared and nervous enough for both of us.

She did really well. They took some blood, did an ultrasound and ran a few other tests. All told we were in and out in a matter of a few hours, but after it was over I was so tired. I think that I was just emotionally drained. In addition, coming off my anxiety meds in the middle of a situation like this was probably not the best thing. However, I think for the most part I did pretty well.

So now we wait. We wait for the blood tests, we wait for the ultrasound to be read by the radiologist, we wait for the other tests to confirm or deny the existence of a problem…then we wait for a solution.

I am not a patient person. Ask my husband; ask my ex…ask my mother. I don’t do well with having to wait. With my first child, I found out as soon as I could what I was having. I started to buy things based on a 65% chance that the doctor had told me I was having a girl. Granted there was at 35% chance that I could have had a boy, but in my mind 65% was a D average and I was going with it. With my second child, I didn’t find out because my husband at the time wanted a surprise and we were so sure we were having a boy. I bought things in greens and yellows just to be safe, but I knew I was having a boy. 4 months after the ultrasound my second girl arrived.

Christmas, birthdays, anniversary and other special occasions can be ruined for others by me not wanting to wait to give the gift I have given or by incessantly questioning what I have been given. To the point that my husband will not put my presents under the tree until I am well asleep in Christmas Eve.

However, the longest and hardest waits for me are in regards to health related questions. What is wrong with me or my family? Why has nobody called back? I know that it has only bee 45 minutes since you drew blood, but I want to know now what is going on. Needless to say that 24 hours after the tests were done the anxiety has once again been building and I am not doing well with waiting. I’m sure that everything is OK and it is all going to turn out alright, but waiting kills me.

I know that it is all in God’s hands and I know that He has a special plan for my daughter, I just wish he would let me in on it from time to time…LOL.

I want to thank each and every one of you that emailed me with words of encouragement, prayers and special thoughts. It has meant a great deal to know that people are out there will positive thoughts and prayers coming our way. I know that even if this is a horrible thing we end up having to deal with I will be a stronger mother and person because I faced it. However, I know that without prayers and thoughts from others I would not have been able to make it though this last week.

Thanks again so much.

Blessings,
Lisa

Prayers Requested

I have been out of it the last few days. I found out earlier this week that my oldest daughter is facing some pretty serious health conditions that could change the way she lives her life. We are currently in the process of going through a whole bunch of tests to see what exactly is wrong (if anything, for sure) and are praying that all comes back OK.

I don't really want to get into details, but I just ask that if you are the type to pray please keep our family in your prayers. If not, then please don't down play what I believe to be a very real way to help deal with lives issues.

Blessings,
Lisa

Big Thank You...to Shiong....

She sent me the neatest things from Singapore...and also sent my girls these cute hair sticks. See pic below....

I love the ladybug change purse....it is great.

Thanks so much!!!!!!

School has started again & I’m sad

Well, school has started here once again. I’m not sad that school has started because that means more of a routine, fun trips, learning new things and tired kids. I think I am sad for other reasons. I think I am going through a bit of a depression here.

A little background – I went on anxiety meds about a year and a half ago. My last job was just a horror to be at, add to that the stress my ex was putting on me and the over all stress of being a wife/mother and my brain couldn’t handle it. I decided to see someone about it and was diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder. OK, so now what. I was told to go see my primary care doctor and he prescribed an anxiety med for me.

I went off of them about 6-8 months ago because the stress in my life was starting to diminish and I was learning new skills to cope with it better. I quit cold turkey and within about 3 weeks I was so depressed. I went to my doctor and told him what I had done. After being read the riot act I was told that I needed to balance my chemicals and we went on a slow withdrawal method. Well, this last week was my last week on meds. I think coming down off those meds, plus my oldest daughter will be in junior high next year and my husband has been driving me mad lately has contributed to my depression.

In addition, I have been working with a trainer for about 6 months now with very little results. Well, today I finally broke down and told him about being on anxiety meds and how I had come off and now I was feel a little down. He said “I knew something wasn’t right because most people lose weight and gain muscle so quickly with me and I have been beating the hell outta you and not getting results.” He has been as frustrated as I have been. So, I guess part of the reason that I have been having slow results is due to the meds I was on. I am hoping that by this next week we will really start to see some changes. He believes so and I am praying for it.

I did some research the last few days and have learned that the particular med I was on does tend to have an affect on weight. Mostly people gain weight, which I didn’t, but it also said it can be hard to lose weight. So now I know. I think this depression will pass and as long as I can get through the next few weeks without any kind of stress that is too overwhelming I should be good…however, I do have an ex to deal with, plus Ms. PMS is making a show today…LOL.

I have to say that this last week I have been watching only a couple of reality TV programs. I watched Workout on Tuesday and felt horrible for Jackie when she came home to a destroyed house. How disrespectful of her employees to do that to her home. I honestly think that she and her girlfriend need to break-up. Who honestly BITES their significant other when they are angry? I mean I yell, scream and throw a fit, but I don’t bite my DH.

I fell asleep watching Project Runway last night. I got about as far as the models trying to kill each other to choose a fashion icon. I didn’t see who got kicked off last night, but immediately went online this morning to read Tim’s blog. I hate to see that Bradley was eliminated. He was one of my favorites, but I felt like he was kind of on the edge after the last challenge. What is up with Laura…..man she just seems like the type of person who is going to pick a fight. Angela is surprising me….but I think she needs to go….those grandma circles are killing me…LOL.

My last thing for today is about work. I have been at my job for about a year now. I was due for a review the middle of July, but still have not gotten it. I keep waiting and waiting and still nothing. Who knows what is going on, but I am frustrated and a little upset that I have not gotten any feedback. I know that I am doing a good job, but having someone actually tell you that is what you really need to hear sometimes.

I hope all is well with those out there in blogger land. I have been reading the blogs to the right everyday. I am so glad my friend Andrew got back from his trip. He didn’t tell us he was going and had a few of us worried….Don’t do that again…LOL.

Blessings,
Lisa

Many things today….

Today is my many things post. There are many things that I would like to talk about.

First of all I would like to say that my teeth are very sore. I had an appointment with the orthodontist today and got an adjustment on my lower teeth only. The sad part is that in order to complete this treatment he had to polish and shape a couple of my lower teeth. It didn’t hurt at the time, but now my teeth are screaming. Also, I have these newly created “gaps” in between my teeth so that they can move into place. When a orthodontist or dentist decides they need to use a “polisher” on your teeth you usually think something that will make them shiny and clean looking. However, the sound that comes with using a polisher and the smell of burning teeth is not a fun thing to deal with at 7:30 in the morning.

My second thing to talk about today is the look of my blog. I have decided to change it up and bit and get rid of the ladybug theme for a little while. I want to thank Beth again for the link she gave me for the ladybug template I had before. I still love it, but just was ready for a change. I’m actually getting more and more comfortable with the whole html language that you find in templates. I am also learning that if you do something and you don’t like it you can always fix it. Spacing, headers, graphics, or anything else can be placed and removed with a little patience and time. Let me know what you think of the new layout.

Third topic today is government workers. This is going to be short and sweet. I know that there are probably many out there that are good and competent and do their job well. However, over the last couple of days I have talked to four that are being so difficult that I have literally had to hang up the phone before my head exploded. What is it about government workers (not all…just the ones I have been dealing with) that make it seem like they don’t care about whether or not you get the services you have PAID for?

Fourth, PROJECT RUNWAY is on tonight. I am like a little kid before Christmas. I am anxiously waiting what happens. Someone gets kicked off and I wonder how that will affect the rest of the season….drama, drama, drama. I am so bad about waiting for surprises and I am guilty of searching the internet super highway to see if there are any spoilers out there. Right now it is all guess work, but the guesses are pretty good. I know that there are those out there that do not feel this season is inspired or as good as previous, but I love it….maybe I just love the drama..LOL. I have added a new blog to the right here for those who are interested. It is called Blogging Project Runway (BPR). I love to go here and read what is happening…gives me my fix each week in between shows.

One of my comments asked if I have watched Work Out on Bravo. I have and I have to say that it took seeing the episodes a couple of times before I could safely say that I would be watching the entire season. I have to say that last night watching Jackie interacting with her Mom and her girlfriend was very interesting. When the whole topic of gay marriage came up you could tell that Jackie was torn about what to say to not make the situation worse. I really like Jackie and I think she can do so much better than the lady she is with right now, but it does make for good drama. In addition, who honestly MOONS their boss while their spouse/significant other is around and then wonders why there is a problem. I think that I would fire someone for that behavior…LOL.

I have to say that I am also waiting for an update on my friend’s blog. He is facing a difficult time right now and is being pressured to do something in his life that he does not feel is needed. When I read his words I feel the pain and suffocation that he has in his life. If you have not read his blog you really should check it out. He has an amazing way of writing and it just sucks you into the story.

Well, this is a long enough post for now and I need to get back to work.

Tomorrow I’ll post my thoughts on PR after watching tonight and also give an update on how my workout regimen is going…LOL.

Also, I wanted to let everyone know that two of my other blogs….Bookworms and Connections…will be ending. I just don’t have the time that I really want to be able to put into making them something special. Maybe in the fall once the kids are back into the swing of school.

I will still be writing at Ex-Rays, but have not had any good ex stories as of late.

Until then….Blessings,

Lisa