TGIF....

I am so glad that Friday is here. I can't tell each of you how much I need a couple of days off. First of all, I am still recovering from my trip to Vegas. Secondly, I have not really slept well the last few nights. Thirdly, last night I did get good sleep, but I was on an air mattress in my daughter's room watching TV while hubby slept. I am hoping to catch up on sleep this weekend.

I am also a little sore from pushing myself a little too hard in my Body Pump class yesterday. The instructors name is Alex and he is a doll. All the ladies love him because he is fun, keeps the energy up, sings to us (faint) and is easy on the EYES!!!! So I really worked hard because Alex was there. Well, I am paying for it this morning. I guess that trying to impress the instructor is one way to get into shape. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but I can still look....*wink*

This week at work has been a little odd. The atmosphere in the office has been a little off. I can't really explain it, and can only sum it up as being off. Not really sure why that is, but it will be good for everyone to get a good break from each other....LOL.

Well, I am off to do some more work. Actually, I just got here. My youngest had a program at school today and I took the morning off to go see it. She was so cute and I got a couple of cute pictures. However, I didn't bring my camera into the office with me. Maybe I'll upload some during lunch.

Have a great weekend!

Lisa

Woman's Yearly Exam

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basics.

How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"120," I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale.
It turns out my weight is 165.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 6," I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'3".

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I scream, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.

*UPDATE*

Update on our fish. Well we started with six and are now down to 5. I don't know what happened but one died and my kids freaked out. Not sure if we are going to replace it yet, but maybe in a few weeks.

Another update - I am still going to the gym, but had a set back after having a "free" meeting with the trainer. Now that my self-esteem is back a little I am good to go.

Have a great day!
Latibug

I'm addicted...

So some of the blogs that I visit are so neat and great and I love reading what people have to say about their life. However, one thing that has fascinated me in the last few weeks are this blinkie things people have on their blogs. Each of them usually has a saying or words of encouragement or in some case rude comments. Each is flashy and grand and I WANT THEM. So after much aggravation of trying to figure it out I did what most normal people with 1/2 a brain do....I ran a google search for blinkies. Now, I must only have 1/4 of a brain because I didn't think to do this sooner nor did I ask anyone on these great blogs for HELP. Heaven forbid that I can't figure it out myself.

So, I run this google search and about a million and a half hits comes back. I found such neat things and I wanted them all. However, I restrained myself to only a few and will probably add more as the weeks go by. Anyway, to all of you talented enough out there to create them from scratch...CONGRATS. I can't do it. However, if you would like to "share" the areas that you got your blinkies from I would welcome the opportunity to go and check out those sights.

Have a great day!!!

Latibug

I'm Back!!!

Actually, I have been back a couple of days now from Vegas, but my body and mind was so tired. The trip was great for the most part. I must say that I have so enjoyed reading others blogs out there. I could spend all day reading the many different blogs that I have come across and still not be able to get to all of them. I have to say that my two favorite blogs are Living in My Mind and dooce. A day does not go by that I don't log onto each of these blogs with the hope of reading something that will make me laugh/cry or both. Both of the ladies on each of these sites have great material to read and are both very real about life. Thank you Nicki and Heather for making each day a little brighter.

Vegas can be summed up like this we left on Friday morning....yada yada yada...we came home on Sunday morning. Well, not actually, but the frustration I have with one person on the trip right now can not be summed up into words, nor should those feelings be blogged for all the world to read.

Let's just say that the friend in question will no longer be invited or included on any future girls trips. She basically ditched us for the first man that paid her attention, knowing how each of the rest of us felt about that. In addition, she is married and claims nothing happened, but could not look each of us in the eye.

Beyond that, I had a great time with my other two friends. Vegas is just too big to do in two days. You really need 4-5 days to see all the sites. I hope to go back with my hubby sometime soon. However, he and I really want to take a trip overseas, so Vegas may have to wait for us.

Hope all is well out there. I am going to have to spend some time catching up on my reading. In the meantime....be good.

Latibug

Only two more days....

And off to Vegas we will be. I am so ready for a break from work, family, kids, husband and life. I have never gone and done anything like this with just my girlfriends, but I know I will have a great time.

Hope all is well out there in blogger land.

I'll check in soon. Maybe during my lunch hour.

We have Fish!

For three days we have had fish. The story behind the fish is not that exciting, but the aquarium has been in the family since a couple of Christmas's ago.

Wish me luch that we don't kill the fish....

I'll post a pic tomorrow!

Wear Green or get Pinched!!!

I am not Irish...I don't pretend to be Irish, but I do like St. Patty's Day. Not because I go out and drink, because I don't. I can't really explain it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that everyone for one day of the year wears the same color or tries to wear the same color and if you don't wear that color you get pinched. Depending on the person you either get pinched easy or hard. Like my younger daughter, I do not like pain. However, I will pinch the first person I see today that doesn't have green on.

Am I wearing green today...You betcha! Besides red it is my second favorite color.

Happy Green Day!

Little Girl in her GREEN for the day!

If you are looking for pics of clover or other St. Patty's Day things try here.

Thank you all so much

The darkness has left the building...or at least it has let in some sunshine. I want to Thank all of you who sent me nice emails and comments. It was nice to read the encouraging words and scriptures that were sent to me during this time.

Just an FYI on the whole depression/anxiety issue that I have. About a year and half ago I was having some major issues with my ex-husband. He was threatening me with custody of our children and basically bulling me into doing what he wanted. He always seemed to do this during the times the children were at his house therefore sending my anxiety into totally overload because I was so afraid that he would not bring them home. It didn't matter how much my parents, family or husband told me these were crazy thoughts they were still there.

Anyway, through the encouragement of my husband and a dear friend I went to see a counselor. She did an initial walk through and told me that she thought I had anxiety....(Ya Think!)...anyway she starting explaining to me how our bodies and minds work and how we deal with stress/anxiety and how everyone is different. She asked a lot of questions and basically told me that I was not crazy (YEAH!) and that it was OK for me to be having these reactions. Within a few sessions with her we were able to pin point what my triggers were...Work, Ex-Husband, and Fear of Losing my kids. Well, she asked if I would be willing to try an antidepressants to help level out the chemicals in my brain. Now I come from a family that does not believe that these types of things help, in fact if my parents knew that I went to counseling I would be shamed for it. Therefore, they still don't know. I asked a lot of questions and did a lot of research before agreeing to trying something. I was put on Zoloft and it was great, but I didn't want to be on it forever,

About 8 months into my counseling my therapist said that she felt I was OK to move on by myself. She gave me some great tools and things to use to manage my stress, but the whole issues of when to stop the Zoloft was not discussed. Right before the end of the year I went in for my yearly physical and talked to my doctor about the Zoloft. He said that I should talk to my counselor and see what she says, but if I felt things were going well that I should be able to wing myself off in a few months. Ok, so I go to see her and she gave me instructions on how to wing myself off. So right after the beginning of the year I started the process.

Well, here I am three months into the beginning of 2006 and feeling like I was once again losing my mind. My issue is not so much with depression itself...it is with anxiety. You see what I do is I worry, and worry, and worry and then....worry some more. By doing this, I send signals to my body that there is stress in my life that isn't really there. Then my brain starts to over produce chemicals that try and stabilize the moods/feelings. Then I crash...like I am on a drug or something. I come down off that high and just hit bottom and usually lurk in the darkness for about a week or so before I re-emerge into the light. Well, coming off the Zoloft has put me in a state of mind that I was scared of what would happen when I was done taking them. I started the whole worry process over again.

Anyway, I was also afraid of becoming the person I was before the drugs. I used to yell and scream at my kids and my husband. Then the guilt of doing that would send me into another cycle. My kids and my hubby (God Bless Them) were great and understanding, but I kept feeling like I was a bad Mom and Wife. That was also part of the reason I went to counseling. So here I am 18 months later and winged off Zoloft and I was fearful of becoming the person I was before.

I went to see my counselor this last week and she gave me some great relaxation ideas and techniques and told me not to be afraid of this transition. So, I am still a work in progress, but at least I am working through it.

Sorry for such a long read...once I started telling the story...it was hard to stop.

Thanks again----
Latibug

I'm OK.

I got so many nice responses from people regarding my depression coming back. I am doing good. I was able to get in to see a doctor and he gave me some great advice/excercises that seem to be helping. I am so glad because I didn't want to go back on pills.

I'll post more today once I get home.

Blessings,
Latibug

For Some Reason....

I am headed into the dark hole of depression again. I can feel it slowly taking over my brain and body. Yesterday afternoon I could feel it coming on again. I don't really have one incident to say triggered it, but I can feel it coming on again.

I hate that feeling of darkness that come with depression. Even mild depression. I am wondering if I need to go back to my doctor and get a new prescription for anti-depressants. I was taking them pretty faithfully until about 3 months ago. Since then things have slowly started to go back to the way they were before with little things setting me off either on a tirade or an emotional roller coaster that just never seems to end.

I think that I need to talk to someone about this. I think if I don't it will not be good.

Pray that I can figure this out and not have guilt about the decision I make.

Latibug

I joined a Gym

Why did I join a gym? Well, there are several reasons that I joined. One is that I was working out on a real consistent basis until right before Thanksgiving, however, I let the holidays get in the way and never went back to my old gym. Second, my old gym has become crowded and over used. My DH still goes there, but the last time I went I didn't think it was a nice as last time. Lastly, when I get home at night I don't want to pack up and head out to the gym. I want to hang with my girls.

So, I joined a gym that is close to my workplace. Less than 5 minutes away there are workout machines, a pool, sauna, steam room, and a bunch of other stuff that was really overwhelming to me when I took my tour this last week. I am really excited because this place offers lots of different classes including an spinning class, which I am a little afraid to take, but will just to say that I have done it.

Here's the kicker, my boss is also a member of this same gym. Luckily for me, he works out early in the morning. However, being members of the same gym, I know that we will run into each other at some point. Now, I don't mind having my boss going to the same gym as me 1) because he was there first, and 2) I don't think we will see each other that much, if ever. However, I just would feel weird working out knowing that he is there. Now, don't get me wrong I am not a good looking women, by my standards, but just the fact that someone I know is there and may critique my workout. I know, I know....very silly.

Well, my DH was supposed to go hiking today, but there is RAIN here.....there has not been rain in 143 days so this is a much needed break from the sunshine and cloudless days. Anyway, DH was supposed to go hiking with a bunch of church fellows, but since it is cold and rainy they decided to postpone the hike. I mean, next weekend it won't be raining...this is Phoenix, not Seattle...LOL.

So I am going back for my second day at the gym. Today at 9:35 I am going to do a body pump class. I am excited because it is strength and aerobic training all in one class. After that, I have a date with an old friend of mine for lunch with her and her one year old daughter. I think I am going to take my family along for support. While I love this friend she is even more of a 1/2 empty kind of person than I am. I mean everything with this girl is Bad BAD BAD. Love her, but need emotional support to be around her. She is also the kind of person who will suck you dry if allowed.

So that is my day in a nutshell. I am really excited. It is going to be a good day.

Latibug

PS My kids are with me today. Little Girl slept from 6 pm last night to about 6:30 this morning....wonder if she may be getting sick. Big Girl had a sleep over with a good friend last night. Now they are doing karaoke...see pic below.....my own American Idols.....LOL

100 Things about Me

I got this idea from Nicki at Living in My Mind. Thought I would steal it and post it on my blog. No blog is complete with out a 100 Things list...or so I've been told.

Enjoy!


1. I am 29 years old
2. I am the mother of two wonderful girls
3. I am on my second marriage
4. My first marriage ended because of infidelity
5. Infidelity was his not mine
6. I realize I played a part in the break up of the marriage
7. It took a lot of counseling to get me to admit that
8. I still live in the house that I was in when my marriage ended
9. Yes, my dear husband is here with me….
10. I have self esteem issues even though my hubby tells me I’m beautiful daily
11. feel like my Dear Hubby is my soul mate
12. I feel like my Dear Hubby is my soul mate even when we fight
13. I struggle with being a working mom
14. I struggle with the guilt of raising two daughters and not imposing my self esteem issues on them
15. I work as an accountant
16. I love the company I work for…but I don’t like numbers anymore
17. I am a reality TV junkie
18. My favorite reality TV program is Blow Out
19. My second favorite reality TV program is Project Runway
20. I see the cup as ½ empty most of the time
21. I am working on seeing life in a more positive light
22. I have two tattoos
23. My first tattoo was a right of passage when my divorce became final
24. Both of my tattoos have ladybugs
25. I believe that ladybugs are good luck
26. I have not read this anywhere, but believe it is true
27. I am a Christian
28. I am a Christian with two tattoos
29. I do not think my having tattoos makes me less of a Christian
30. I have a strong faith in God and Jesus
31. I feel the strike of Satan everyday trying to break this faith
32. struggle with having to fight off the doubts that are placed in my mind by Satan
33. My family has two cars
34. One is red and one is green
35. I drive the red car
36. I have a personalized license plate that says LATIBUG
37. I don’t remember how I cam up with that spelling for ladybug
38. I have lots of guilt associated with letting people down
39. I struggle with trying to please my parents
40. struggle with trying to please my parents even though I am 30 years old
41. I struggle with trying to please my parents even though I am 30 years old, married and have two children
42. I am typing line number 42 now
43. I love movies
44. I love most movies, but don’t like Aliens or Predator type movies
45. I own 262 DVD’s
46. I am not proud that I own that many DVD’s
47. All those DVD’s do get watched on a consistent basis
48. I am a new aunt. My brother and his wife had their first baby in November
49. My brother chose the name Lauren because my oldest daughter liked it best
50. I love being a new aunt, but hate being so far away
51. I live 10 hours from my closest family.
52. I moved away because my ex husband’s job moved us to AZ
53. I love AZ, but wish my family was closer
54. I fear that I will not be able to move closer to them because of my ex
55. I fear that my ex will try and take the kids if I try to move back home
56. I am tired of living in that fear
57. I met my husband on an on-line dating site
58. He was the second person I met from that site
60. I knew that we would be married after our second date
61. My parents do not know this is how we met
62. I graduated with my Master’s degree last May
63. I am currently not working in the field that my Master’s degree is in
64. I do not think I will ever work in that field, but that is OK
65. I currently have an office where I work, but I feel like the guy from Office Space because they keep moving things into my office
66. Soon I will only have a path from the chair at my desk to the door of my office
67. I have a door on my office that I can’t close
68. I like to sew
69. I sew very badly
70. I would like to learn to knit
71. I hear the knitting takes concentration and skill have neither of these abilities
72. I am on number 72 and not sure what else to write
73. Last summer my husband and I ripped up all the carpet in our living room
74. We did this before we knew what we wanted to replace it with
75. We replaced it with Pergo flooring…my parents drove 10 hours to help
76. I love my Pergo Flooring
77. My favorite place to buy shelving and entertainment centers etc is IKEA
78. I could go broke in IKEA and it is an hour away from me
79. I recently discovered that IKEA has a website that you can order things from
80. My husband has blocked this site from the computer
81. I am not smart enough to unblock it.
82. My favorite color is red
83. My kitchen is done in red apples
84. I painted a wall in my dining room red on a whim
85. I liked it so much that I painted the rest of the wall into the kitchen that same color
86. I find painting therapeutic until it comes to cutting in
87. I have a husband who likes to sketch
88. I hope to someday be married to a famous comic book artist
89. Yes, this would be the same person I am married to now
90. I have faith that this dream of his will come true
91. We have one cat…that DH found in a tree
92. Her name is DIVA
93. The vet things she is part Maine coon cat
94. I think she is part PITA cat
95. She loves to play
96. She is only about 4 months old
97. I am going to have to revise this list at some point
98. I don’t like hateful people
99. Some people in my immediate family are hateful
100. I struggle with having to like them

I hope I didn't

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my other post of DH and my tattoos that we got this last weekend.

Please comment and let me know that those who usually visit are still around!

Well I feel like an idiot....

Ok, so here's the deal. I have this Vegas trip that I have been planning with a few of my friends for a little while now. It is scheduled for the 24-26 of March. Well, in all my excitement I forgot that is also the weekend that starts my parents spring break.

Now there was no confirmation of them coming out to our house for spring break, but I didn't think about this at the time. I have never been to Vegas before. So I was just excited at the prospect.

Well, my parents call tonight and ask if they can come down for the weekend starting March 25th. Sure I tell them not thinking about the fact that I won't be here. So fast forward an hour or so later and I am marking up my planner. Low and behold in big RED letters is VEGAS! Oh NO, I start to cry. Now I am in a real rock/hard place situation because:

1) I really want to see my parents and I don't want to have to call and say Sorry guys, but I am out of town that weekend

2) I really don't want to disappoint my friends and I have already paid for the hotel, flight etc....so now what....

Ok, I'll call my parents and tell them that I am going to be out of town, but to come and see the girls and my hubby. Now hubby doesn't really like to be alone with my folks and I don't blame him. For some reason, my folks seem to think that he treats the kids differently and that he should do this or that instead of this or that. Anyway, DH (dear hubby) doesn't want to be alone with them. So I am on the phone and my Dad say I don't know how to unbook a flight that is already booked. I say I don't want you to change your plans, but just realize that I can't be here for a little while, but come enjoy the grandkids and have fun and I'll see you when I get back. Well, we are coming to see you also, not just them....(they always say this, but it is really the kids they want to see, DH and I are a necessary evil, or that is how we feel).....so I say I'm really sorry and I feel like an idiot and my Dad says ....well, I need to talk to your mother and we willc call you tomorrow....I can hear my mother in the background....Blah blah Blah...like she always does...like the person on the phone is her own personal puppet and they should say all the things that she won't get on the phone and say herself.....

Anyway, I am now here blogging about this issue...I called one of my friends that I am going to Vegas with and she said that I just need to do what feels right...and not be guilted into either....I don't know...what to do......

HELP!

You pick it...I stick it...

You pick it...I stick it...

Remember that line from Son In Law when Pauly Shore's character (Crawl) is going with Carla Gugino character (Rebecca) to the tattoo parlor because she is breaking out of her shell. Well, take that tattoo guy in that movie, add about 10 years and that was the guy that did this (see below) to me and hubby on Friday night.

Why would I do this, you may ask...well, this is not my first tattoo. You see about 5 years ago when my divorce was final and I learned that my ex had been cheating on me I decided that I need to do something drastic. I do not know why this stressful times in our lives make us do silly things, but we do. When I was divorced about 5 years ago I got another ladybug (see below) on my left ankle. Why my left ankle and why a ladybug you ask..I don't know...I was just at the parlor and saw a ladybug and thought it was cute and SMALL.

So what has changed since then????? Well, I guess that my dear husband saying that he wanted one and then actually going to the tattoo parlor made me what to get another one. I can safely say that it is a good thing that there is only one lower back because I would never get that area done again. It hurt really badly, but I love the work and the artist who did it was GREAT!

Anyway, telling my Mom and a few people at our church was fun. There are differing opinions on what should/should not be allowed on one's body. There was also a lot of discussion on what Christ would say about my choice to express myself...well, I say...this is between me and God and others just need to keep their opinions/judgments to themselves....snicker!!!!

Anyway the rest of the weekend was busy. We had a birthday party today for my husband's sister's second child...yes my nephew, but there is not enough time/space for that whole explanation. It was a good time...and it was nice to see his parents and the rest of the local family...however, I am glad to be back at my home.

Here is a pic of the birthday boy blowing out his candles. Regardless of how they come to us...I love these kids...even if their home life is not as good as it should be...I still love them to death...

Hope you all had a great weekend.

Latibug!

Do you...

Moderate your comments on your blog? I can't decide if I should keep it enabled, which means that I have to publish each and every comment or disable it and hope for the best.

I guess that I like getting comments to my email because it is like a little treat during the day (that and the girl scout cookie(s) that I eat). However, I don't want to offend someone who may want to see their post immediately because they have something really important or relevant to say in regards to the stimulating topics I cover here....(yes Kids, family and marriage are stimulating...aren't they?)

So I send this out to the blogging world...To moderate or not moderate...that is the question?

One more day....

of my Big Girl being out of school because of Strep Throat. She needs one more day of rest and I need one more day of rest...not really, but it would be nice.

I was able to take her to work with me today. Thankfully I have a great boss and work for a small company that this isn't really an issue, but I do thank God everyday for the ability to have a flexible schedule. She is about 89% and needs just one more day to gain the rest of that strength. My dear husband took off Tuesday off to be with her and I was off with her on Monday. Then today she went to work with me, which both of the girls always get a kick out of when they get that treat.

She was really good and quiet and I think that is why my boss doesn't mind her being there. I would never take Little Girl to the office if she was sick. She and I would stay home, but Big Girl is such a great kid. She watches her movies on her little DVD player and rests in the corner of my office on her little pallet of blankets. I love hearing her snore or laugh at a funny part.

I was able to talk to her teacher today about her homework. She said not to worry, but she would send some stuff home with Little Girl (same school, different grade) so that Big Girl could work on it if she wanted, but she didn't have to. I have to say that Big Girl was excited to get some homework.

So tomorrow, I am going to brave it again with her at the office. The boss doesn't know yet, but he will have to just get used to it because I can be there with her and work or be home and not get anything done. HHHMMM...wonder what he would like to have done?

Have a great night,
Latibug.....

PS...why is it that when there are piles of laundry, a dirty kitchen and dishes in the washer...nobody but MOM will make sure that they are done?

The Love Dress...LOL

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in and was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my LOVE dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"LOVE dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband LOVES me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my LOVE dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

133 days with NO RAIN....

Can someone please do a little rain dance for us in Phoenix?

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0301B1-talker0301.html