2007 - A New Year

Hello 2007 -------> Goodbye 2006.

I don’t know what everyone did to ring in the New Year, but my New Year’s Eve was rather boring. Where I live there is a high incident of random gun fire, illegal fireworks and drunk driving. Therefore, my family and I usually choose to stay indoors during this night. I just don’t want to take the chance of something bad happening that I could have prevented. I know that this makes me a bit boring and I’m sure at some point I will look back on my life and regret it, what can I say…I’m a scaredy cat.

As I look back on 2006 I wonder about what I have learned about myself and what new things I will come to learn about myself in 2007. One of my greatest accomplishments this year was that I have finally forgiven my ex for all the crap that happened over 5 years ago with the ending of our marriage. How do I know that I have forgiven him….you ask? Well, about two weeks ago we had a different kind of ceremony at church and one of the parts of the ceremony was partaking in the Lord’s Supper. In doing this, you are supposed to pour out your sins, ask for forgiveness, forgive others and thank the Lord for all He has blessed you with. One of the prayers that I have been praying for the last several years every time I partake of the Lord’s Supper is for Him to soften my heart and allow me to forgive my ex. Every time I feel like I get close, but the next time the Lord’s Supper is offered I would always find it in my heart that I had not truly let go of all the anger, rage and hurt that has lingered. Let me tell you…bitterness is a hard thing to let go of sometimes. During this last Lord’s Supper of 2006 at our church I knelt at the alter and was thanking the Lord for all the blessings he had given me and my family for the past year. I thanked Him for allowing my daughter to fully heal from a sickness, for being with me through mediation, for giving me the strength and the power to finally stand up to the person who has been a bully in my life for quite sometime. Then I moved into asking for forgiveness for all the things I had done wrong and sinned against the Lord this last year (this took some time). Lastly, I was ready to say the part of the prayer that would again maybe help me humble myself and forgive my ex. When I got to this part of my prayer (which is pretty standard now) I found that my heart didn’t hurt anymore. My heart was lighter when I thought of my ex. I no longer felt angry or bitter or rage. Instead of praying for the Lord to soften my heart and allow me to forgive I was finally able to pray for what is truly needed…..for the Lord to soften my ex’s heart.

So now, as I move into 2007 I pray every night for the Lord to soften his heart and allow Him into his life. I know that I may never see the fruit of this prayer. I know that I may never be able to witness the change that this prayer will have in his life. What I do know and what has been shown to me over and over again this past year is that the Lord does answer prayers…..IN HIS TIME. Our time table does not matter to God. He does things when He knows the time is right and His will and timing is always perfect.

Do I want to see my ex come to Christ and be a Child of God? Yes. However, I do realize that I may not see the fruits of this until after I have passed from this world. God tells us to love our enemies, to forgive those that have forsaken us. I can tell you that from experience, when you truly forgive….your heart is opened to more insight and thoughtfulness and LOVE than you can ever imagine.

Make 2007 Great!

Blessings,
Lisa