Sick Kids and Clorox Bleach

Did you know that Clorox Bleach kills 99.9% of bacteria it comes in contact with on a surface? Did you know that if you use it to clean your bathtub and your child then takes a bath before you rinse it down…it will not cure the 99.9% of bacteria that is making her sick…however, it will make her skin itch…

I did not know this…now I do! Don’t ask me how!

BTW no reason to call CPS or DCHS...she is fine and was unharmed...once she was rinsed off she was fine......

My Date with the Lego Man

My most recent trip out of town was with my two best girlfriends. We try and take one to two trips together a year to get away from the family and just be silly. Our last few trips have been to Vegas so we decided to do something a little different this time. We chose to visit the happiest place on earth….Disneyland. Now before you get all excited let me just say that I never thought that the Wonderful World of Disney, pure as the driven snow, could ever EVER be tainted. I always thought that when in Disney you were protected from things like….hangovers, hands on men and throwing up….apparently you are not!

We get to our hotel around 3 pm on Friday night. It is cool and breezy outside and I think to myself (no it’s not a wonderful world) that this is going to suck being at Disneyland on a cold night. We proceed to go over to the hotel restaurant and have a few drinks and burgers. Finally make our way over to Disneyland and ride a few rides and decide that we need some drinks.

Now in California at Disneyland there is a place with a bunch of shops and they call it Downtown Disney. There is everything from the Wide World of Disney store to an AMC movie theatre. And…my new favorite place to visit…Tortilla Joes…where I met the very beautiful very gay very over the top IAN. Love this man more on him in my next posts I promise….Ian proceeds to tell us all about the Hollywood night life and how we should go out with him after his shift. This is one pitcher of Margaritas and two shots of tequila later. WE still have not worked up the courage to go out clubbing with a strange man who waited on us at the restaurant. Two pitcher of margaritas later Ian has now sat down beside me and become my leaning post. He then tells us of all the great stores in Downtown Disney including Something Silver and The Lego Store….which he happens to add has a full life size giraffe and a Darth Vader all made out of Legos. What he fails to mention is the little old man made of Legos on the bench outside of the store.

Three pitchers of margaritas and we have invited Ian to Vegas with us in July. We have exchanged numbers with him and we have pretty much said that he can stay with us anytime anywhere any place as long as he promises to keep the margaritas coming. Four shots later my stomach is starting to rebel and my friends want to go shopping. Seeing that they are not as drunk as I am I ask where they want to go….The Lego Store they say….OK I’ll wait outside on the bench.

About this time, the fireworks in Disneyland start and they make me nauseous. I want to lie down on the bench and wait for my friends…but no…someone is sitting on the bench and they won’t move. “Excusth me…buth can you Pleasth move…I am wasted and I needth to liiieee down!” I say to this man who looks like he is sleeping. He doesn’t responde….HELLO MR! I need to LIIIEEE down beforeth I PUUUKKKEEE on you and your yellow legs….your yellow legs….hahahahahahaha your yellow!” Followed by much pointing and laughing on my part.

Then yes…Ladies and Gents…I proceed to laugh so hard I almost pee my pants…but then I decide this is going to be the only friend I make this weekend that 1) can’t tell anybody about what I have done and 2) will have to listen to me regardless of what I have to say…so I sit on his lap and tell him all the things on my mind…about Ian and how adorable he is and how my family just doesn’t understand me and then I show him my new nose stud which he loves and tells me that I very much have the right type of nose for a piercing….Thank you…my motherth didn’t thinks so…I say.

That is when I kissed him…yes ladies and gents I kissed a big yellow plastic lego man. Full on his plastic lips and then proceeded to nuzzle against his neck and FALL ASLEEP for at least 15 minutes until my friends came out to rescue me. Apparently, MR. Legoman was starting to get a little frisky and fixing to take advantage of me while I was out cold.

I made it back to the hotel room…proceeded to eliminate many margaritas from my body. The next day I had to go visit the lego man again…to get a picture (thank god cameras were left at the hotel the day before) and get my picture taken with him.

Here you go:

Sorry Guys

Here is the deal....The post that won

Date with a Lego Man will be up by the end of the day.

I've had a couple of sick kids and haven't been able to get it completely written or posted...

Please be patient...but I promise it is worth it...

You Vote....I'll write

I have been out of town the last few days (Thanks to Slick for asking about me)!!!


I have several stories from my most recent trip and have several blog titles that I would like to write....you tell me which one you want to hear first...


1) My date with the Lego Man

2) You Ain’t Never Had a Friend like ME!

3) Tortilla Joes and Ian

4) One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila FLOOR

5) My pretty little flowered fingernails...and Indiana Jones

Voting will end tomorrow morning. This is the chance for all you lurkers out there to speak up.....come on you know you want to!

My Ambien Experience

A few weeks ago I went to my doctor because I had a urinary tract infection and I was there to give a new sample to be tested for God only knows what. While I was there I asked my doctor if I could talk to her about my current sleep patterns. She asked me what they were and I said they didn’t exist. Basically what happens is that each night my body starts to gear down for bed. My body gets tired and my breathing gets regular…somehow this is a sign to my brain that it needs to start making a to do list… Then I get up and go watch TV, play on the computer or read until sleep once again is able to take over my body.

The reason I wanted to talk to my doctor about this is that I was tired of taking 3 Tylenol PMs every night just to fall asleep and then on top of that I was also feeling rather groggy in the morning because my body could sleep off all the medication in time. So, we talked and we talked some more and she finally wrote me a prescription for Ambien. Now I have to say that I am not one to take drugs for most things. I will suffer through a cold, I will deal with the symptoms of allergies and the flu and I are best friends, but usually through all of this I do not take drugs (prescription or otherwise). Even when I had my UTI a few weeks ago I didn’t want to take drugs…however, infections do clear up better when treated with meds…..

She told me to take it only as needed because it was a “controlled” substance….much like the Zoloft she made me get a prescription for about a year ago because I would cry if I sat down at my desk (yes, I deal with anxiety and yes, that is the one drug I take regularly, if I don’t my life stops functioning). She said the first time I took it should be after a big meal when I have not been drinking alcohol and on a night when I didn’t have to work the next day so that I could judge how my body would react to the medication.

OK, I thought I’ll try it this Friday. I usually go out and have a big meal, and a few drinks, which I could skip and that would leave me with all day Saturday to recover if needed….OMG it was needed.

Now people, I have been drunk before and I have been hung over before and neither of these can even begin to describe how this felt. I took the pill after I went to dinner and went home. About ½ and hour later I still felt nothing….so thought ok not bad I can handle this….about 10 minutes later I thought I was tripping on acid….which I have never done…the room started to spin, the moon crashed into my house and the sun slept in my bed that night. Dragons were talking to me; Harry Potter saved me from falling off a building and at some point Wolverine kissed me. It was a serious trip.

Needless to say, I had a prescription for 30….and guess what…I still have 29!

Ambien Anyone….anyone

AAAHH the sacred Fortune Cookie say…..WHAT?

You will hear pleasant news……in bed?

This was my fortune today. I went to have Chinese food today for lunch. It is one of my weaknesses that I allow myself to partake in once a week. Not so much because Chinese food is bad for you, but because when I am there I want to order one of everything on the menu. One of my favorite parts of the meal is the end when you get to crack open the fortune cookie.

When I was a kid (probably like 14-16) and we would get fortune cookies we would always add in bed to the end of the fortune….so you might get one that says Money and Health will come your way….in bed. Now what exactly are you supposed to glen from this….you will get paid to have sex, but you won’t catch a VD???? Or what about Today is a good day for being with a companion….in bed….well at least you won’t be alone in bed. And this one…..Quality counts and you've got it….in bed….is that akin to it’s not the size of the boat it’s the motion of the ocean women tell men….. (Yes, a Jeff Foxworthy reference)

So while at this Chinese restaurant today I was on my way out the door and they have a basket full of fortune cookies…….and guess what…I took a handful…..now I’ll crack them open…live here in my blogger and type them out for you and let’s see how interesting this gets….

• Your dream will come true when you least expect it……in bed (Brad Pitt is coming to my house?)


• Wearing green will bring you the luck of the leprechauns…in bed (NO THANKS)


• You will live long and enjoy life…..in bed (YES!)


• Look to nature to discover your talents…..in bed (WHOA…honey where did we put the pine cone when we were finished last time?)


• On the first week of next month, do something just for yourself….in bed (Isn’t it more fun when you play with a friend?)


• You will attract cultured and artistic people….in bed (isn’t this the definition of an orgy?)

Happy Tuesday!!!

Be back tomorrow.

Nothing new to say

I made a new friend...

I am a friendly person by nature. I like to talk to people I don't know on the street in the store and all around. If I am drunk this trait becomes 100 times worse. While in Vegas last year I made friends with an old man, a young man and a man in a viking hat...yes the ones with horns.

I have a tendency to listen to others conversations and interject my opinion when I feel it is approriate....and I am generally a nice person.

So today...I made a new friend...he is 4 years old (think Bill Cosby as Himself "I 4 years old") He loves me...and I love him...and he is my new best friend.....

He is the son of one of the guys I work with...and they stopped by today to see what was going on. While he was there a client dropped by to give me something...while he was there (he is an old friend) he gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek...my new friend DID NOT like that...

He said to me....loud enough for my client to hear.....

DON'T EVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN

...lol

I am loved!

Why do today what can be put off until tomorrow or the next day or the next!

This post will not be about making a midnight run to the post office on April 15th (which is a Sunday so your taxes don’t have to be post marked until April 16th @ midnight) nor will it be about making sure you file all of your W-2’s with your tax forms. No…ladies and gents this post will be about how happy I will be once April 15 (or in the case of this year the 16th) is here and gone.

You see…I work for a small office. Everyone within the office is pretty much self-employed except me….which I could be and they have approached me about it…but at this time.....NO.THANK.YOU! My boss is what most people would relate to as the CFO of the company…pretty much all things financial are in his realm of control. However during this time of the year he is busy….REALLY BUSY…..and not because he has to be….NO…because he chooses to be…you see he does all the tax returns for everyone in the office, their family and friends and such. In reality it adds up to about 25 total tax returns….but my wonderful boss…and yes I do like him and love working for him….is what we in the real world call a procrastinator….yes…he does not get in a hurry to do anything until it is due…which means that my life will be a living hell for the next 10 days…why….because he has waited until the week before the taxes are do to start on them.

Now I really don’t mind because my job is simple….get the returns as they are done…file away our copy, coordinate signatures…and post mark the damn envelope…all of this is fairly simple….where my life starts to get complex is when my boss starts working nights….NOT because I have to work nights….but because he starts to get cranky….add to this the fact that we have about 10 million (well probably more like 7 really) projects that are also coming due around April 20th….OMG…his OCD (yes he is a procrastinator with OCD…go figure) has kicked into overdrive and I must have been asked 15 times today if I made a copy of this or made that journal entry or if I turned the key in the lock on the door 7 times (no I turned it 8…OMG….the world ends).

Now I am a pretty organized person when it comes to my office at work. I like order on my desk and I don’t do clutter well….my home is a different matter, but my desk at work is ALWAYS CLEAN! So here is my issue….as the OCD and procrastination has finally come to a head where it needs to be dealt with or someone is going to die my office explodes into a tornado whirl wind of paper and staples…yes…ladies and gents my boss also has an affection for used staples…and I find them everywhere….on my desk, on my floor…in my files….at one point he thought it would be funny to put them in my coin purse in my purse…I kid you not…Needless to say I hate my office right now and I don’t think I can honesly take one more piece of crap in my office without losing my mind….and honestly…it wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge on a normal day…so add this stress and WHAM-O I’m a crazy lady (note to self…..call doctor to get more happy pills)

The point of this post…..I don’t have one….I just needed something to write about today…

Thanks!

Drinks on Me!

Everyday Sonic Drive In has a happy hour special – ½ price drinks from 2 to 5 in the afternoon. Now while I’m not usually out and about during those hours I have on occasion snuck (as in walk right out in front of my boss) and partook of a Route 44 oz Iced Tea (no lemon) please from my favorite drink spot in the whole world….Sonic.

Well, today was especially a rough day…I don’t know why, but I just didn’t want to wake up this morning and when I finally did everything that could go wrong…did…so when 2 pm rolled around I made my way out the front door and to the drive through….and wham bam thank you ma’am I had a fresh 44oz Iced Tea….no…Root Beer….wtf? I know I ordered Iced Tea and I can’t stand Root Beer…back to the drive in….guess what…I got a free drink card good for 10 free drinks…because they screwed up….SWEET….Drinks on Me!

I’m BACK!!!!

Did you miss me? Come on I know you did….admit it. You’ve been waiting with bated breath for me to return and tell you…….that I’M BACK! Well, probably not, but your going to get it anyway.

My long weekend turned out to be just that LONG. I always seem to get nostalgic for home and start to pine for a simpler life and time with family. Then I go home and after about 48 hours start to realize why I moved 10+ hours away from my family and why I would NEVER consider moving back there…..until another 6 months passes and I am once again struck with the bug to move home…it is all a vicious cycle I tell you….LOL

The party for my grandfather and his new wife went very well. I have to say she is a lovely lady and I can tell that they both love each other very much. I thought I was OK with him getting remarried and back into the swing of that whole game, but it bothered me more than I thought it would seeing him with another woman who wasn’t my grandmother. I was fine through the whole party, but once I was back at my parents house and realized that his is now building a life with someone else it struck me hard. However, I know that he only has a few years left on this earth and if she makes him happy, then so be it….I am the last person who should be passing judgment on him…divorced, pregnant before marriage…does not hold a lot of water in my family as far as opinions go.

Another nice aspect of the party is that I was able to see family that I hadn’t seen in years. My cousins who I remember at perpetually 5 year old are all grown up and some of them have babies of their own. Why in my mind did I still have them pulling my hair and stealing my lip gloss? In fact, one of them has a baby and another on the way…..Man time goes by fast. I have to say that despite all our differences and all the things that we have gone through as a family we are all able to still do one thing well….and that is throw one hell of a party. There was dancing, singing, visiting and most importantly….EATING. Good down home cooking…YUMMY. I think I gained 10 lbs in 2 days.

One thing I have to say is that I am happy to be home. I never thought I would look at AZ with longing, but once that plane touched down and I was on my way home I had to say…YIPPEE.

One bad thing….this was the first Easter with my kids that I didn’t dye eggs or have an Easter Bunny visit….think they will forgive me?


PS….all you lurkers….say hi…I would love to be able to link to your blogs…..

Either I'm Missed or I don't get the joke...

One of the blogs I frequent is Slick and today he left me the below comment...what does it mean?

Slick said...
Hey? Today is the 9th girl.

Does it mean he misses me? Can't wait for my posts? Or I am just so boring that I have so others that my life is far less interesting

Slick .....let me know!

LOL

I'm sure there is a way

I keep reading about bloggers who are "backing up" their posts from the last year, two years etc. I want to know how to do that.

My fear is that one day Blogger crashes and all my bits of worldy wisdom that nobody has ever read will be lost to the masses, I mean me and I will never again figure out how I got from Laughlin to Disneyland in three steps or less. Or that some great guy named JERRY helped me fix my mailbox lock or that my kids taped me singing Karoke and are still threating to put it on You Tube...

All of these bits of me would be lost FOREVER, FOREVER I tell you. And what would the world be if you didn't have ME....LOL.

So I am appealing to all these lurkers...you know your there...I see you...all my regular readers (hello all 4 of you) and anyone else who wants to help an insane lady out.....

HOW THE HELL DO I BACK UP MY POSTS?

ThAnKs!

Out of Town AGAIN

Man the months of March and April have been hard on me. I don’t know why I did this to myself, but somehow I have two more trips this month. One is this weekend where I am going to go home to see my family. There is a reception/party for my grandfather and his new wife on Saturday, so I am excited about that.

Then in two weeks I am going to CA with a couple of girlfriends to go to the happiest place on earth. Yes, I know I was just at Disneyland, but I think being there with girlfriends is different. I am excited, but also looking forward to that being the last trip for a bit. There is rumor of a trip to Vegas in July, but I don’t know if my body, mind or soul can take it. I am sure by July I will be recovered, but man I am tired right now.

My house is a wreck. Seems like the suitcases have not been properly put up in about a month. My bedroom looks like a refugee has come through and is fleeing her home land. Clothes, shoes, etc strung about like a mad woman lives there. My bathroom is just gross and my kitchen…I can’t even find my salad bowl chopper thing that is my favorite. Next weekend I will be HOME and I think a little spring cleaning is in order. I can’t take the piles of junk/trash (at least trash to me)/disorder that my house has now.

I have had many a friend come over and say your house is so clean and organized, but they don’t get to look in the closets or under the beds or in the cabinets. My mother and grandmother are the same way…pseudo pack rats. The surface of everything is clean, but underneath and hidden away is junk. Now I usually pride myself on not having a lot of junk. My drawers, closets etc are usually very nicely organized. Sterlite containers are my best friends and I can usually find things I am looking for in under a minute. However, lately it as been a push to just put shit where ever we have room for it at the time.

Right now I am sitting here at work thinking of the piles of crap in my bedroom and knowing that it will be at least a week before I can get to it. I am just tired of all the clutter. I would sign up for one of those clean me up reality shows, but I am afraid that they would laugh at me and say…What…this isn’t junk.

Oh well, at least I get a trip outta town and don’t have to stare at it this week!

BTW…since I won’t be here….

Back from Laughlin

The trip to Laughlin went well. Actually I had a really good time up until my friend got DRUNK! I’m not talking a little tipsy I am talking hanging all over….getting in the face of the person next to her….fall down drunk. It was her birthday and we had fun….but it was all I could do to pull her away from the Cuban boy that had attached himself to us…..

Besides that the trip was great…..I learned to play Black Jack…which isn’t hard in the scheme of things….but I’m an accountant and Black Jack involves math and I am hopeless with out my ten key….LOL.

I did pretty well…nothing to jump up and down about…but OK.

Hope you all had a great weekend and once I have more energy I will tell of my adventures in Lake Havasu with the spring break crowd on Saturday….let’s just say I saw a lot of ASS….and most of it was HAIRY!!!! LOL.