AAAHH the sacred Fortune Cookie say…..WHAT?

You will hear pleasant news……in bed?

This was my fortune today. I went to have Chinese food today for lunch. It is one of my weaknesses that I allow myself to partake in once a week. Not so much because Chinese food is bad for you, but because when I am there I want to order one of everything on the menu. One of my favorite parts of the meal is the end when you get to crack open the fortune cookie.

When I was a kid (probably like 14-16) and we would get fortune cookies we would always add in bed to the end of the fortune….so you might get one that says Money and Health will come your way….in bed. Now what exactly are you supposed to glen from this….you will get paid to have sex, but you won’t catch a VD???? Or what about Today is a good day for being with a companion….in bed….well at least you won’t be alone in bed. And this one…..Quality counts and you've got it….in bed….is that akin to it’s not the size of the boat it’s the motion of the ocean women tell men….. (Yes, a Jeff Foxworthy reference)

So while at this Chinese restaurant today I was on my way out the door and they have a basket full of fortune cookies…….and guess what…I took a handful…..now I’ll crack them open…live here in my blogger and type them out for you and let’s see how interesting this gets….

• Your dream will come true when you least expect it……in bed (Brad Pitt is coming to my house?)


• Wearing green will bring you the luck of the leprechauns…in bed (NO THANKS)


• You will live long and enjoy life…..in bed (YES!)


• Look to nature to discover your talents…..in bed (WHOA…honey where did we put the pine cone when we were finished last time?)


• On the first week of next month, do something just for yourself….in bed (Isn’t it more fun when you play with a friend?)


• You will attract cultured and artistic people….in bed (isn’t this the definition of an orgy?)

Happy Tuesday!!!