My New Renter is HOT!

Check out The Modern Savage. He is a great writer and is honest about how it is to be young and single.

The HOT Blog!

How cute is this….

OMG don’t you just love love love Michelle Williams with short hair. I love love love this cut. I mean how easy it must be to get up and do each day. Although these means that she had to cut off her lovely locks she had before.

I have had short hair for several years now…the only thing that has really changed has been the shape of the cut and the color. I was trying to grow my hair out about a year ago, but after about 6 months I just couldn’t handle it any longer. I had to get it cut. For me, short hair just works. I have rather think hair and it has a lot of body. I am sure if I were 20 lbs lighter, 10 year younger and had hair to my butt I could be a model…ha ha.

Anyway, I just want to know what you think of Michelle’s new hair do. I love it. And I am considering it for my hair….whatcha think?

Charitable Contributions

I work for a business that has set up a trust from which it donates to charities throughout the year. It is a great organization and they give to really good causes that really need the support. The only thing that bothers me about this trust is that each year there is a particular recipient that always complains about how they only get x amount of dollars a year when the trust makes x amount of dollars in interest income. Somehow they feel that they are entitled to a bigger slice of the pie.

This last week I was tasked with getting the year-end financial statements and charitable contributions list ready for the yearly board meeting. I do not attend the meeting and only prepare the paperwork needed when my boss asks for it. What usually happens after this meeting is that I get an updated list (usually the list of contributions with chicken scratch notes from my boss) of what charities will be donated to this year and the dollar amounts beside them. To my surprise, this complainer charity was no longer on the list. I am guessing that enough people heard of the complaints and took them off the donor list.

I know that it is really none of my business who this trust decides who/who not to contribute to on a yearly basis. I don’t have any of my money in there and therefore can not say that anyone should/should not get the money that is so generously donated from this trust. However, when I got the list back recently I was more than a little shocked to see that this charity was removed. I just hope I’m not the one that has to deliver the bad news.

A dream so real

I usually don’t remember my dreams that I have at night, but when I do it is usually because there is something profound that has happened in them that make me stop and think about life. Last night I had one of those dreams. Before I can tell you about it I have to give a little background into my life….I apologize in advance if this becomes a long post.

When I was a sophomore in high school I had my first real love. He was a guy that had been dating a girl I knew and I always thought he was a real cutie. Well, after they broke up he and I started dating. We fell in love and got very serious very quickly. Needless to say, I was crazy about him and I thought that we would spend the rest of our lives together. Well, my parents thought that we were getting to involved and basically wanted us to end our relationship, which I did….but I really really really didn’t want to.

Fast forward about 2 years, he and I still talk on occasion, have some of the same friends and just in general keep tabs on each others lives. He ends up having a baby with a girl, who he doesn’t marry and I am crushed knowing that I can never again be with him. Well, about six month after his baby is born he is killed in a car accident. It hit everyone very hard, but my family loved this guy. My brother loved him, my parents loved him, and I loved him. It was a huge and tragic loss for all of us involved. Still to this day I think about him everyday and wonder what might have been if we had stayed together.

Ok, so now to my dream from last night. I was at home and I must have bee late teens or early twenties. I had just got a call that this guy was alive and doing well. He was living with his parents and they were so happy to find out that he really hadn’t died. I was crying and trying to find out how to get a hold of him because I wanted so badly to tell him I loved him. I called his parents house, called a cell phone, called his brother, called everyone I could think of to try and find him.

Finally, he answered the phone and I could see his smile, hear his voice and almost touch him. I was crying in my sleep, I could feel the tears on my cheeks and I knew that he was alive. The next several scenes in the dream I am trying desperately to get to him. I keep missing him at home, work, school or church. Finally about the time my alarm goes off I see him and get to hug him and kiss him. That’s where it ended.

The funny thing is that I woke up with such a sense of peace and longing this morning. I was peaceful because I know that he is in a better place and I feel like he is somehow watching over me. But I longed for his friendship and embrace this morning. I longed to put my head on his shoulder and cry a million tears for losing him, for hurting him for all the things we should have said/done.

I know that this dream can never be real. I attended his funeral, I saw his body in the casket, I sang the songs, and I cried and was devastated by his death. I have forever tried to find that same feeling that we had together and each and every man in my life has come up short. I long for the love and understanding and trust he and I shared, but I know that I will never again find that with him or possibly with anyone again.

One thing I do know is that for one instant in time I was able to love him and for one instant last night I was able to be with him again.

Congratulations

My grandmother on my father's side passed away about 5 years ago. Since that time my grandfather has been living alone. Well, tonight he gave us all some news that I am so happy to share....at 79 years old he is getting re-married.

I am so happy for him.....Congratulations Pepaw.....I hope you and your new wife share many happy years together!

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter…..I CAN

“Mom, I need to make cookies for my class tomorrow.”

“OK, there is a mix in the pantry. Add an egg and butter.”

“Mom, we don’t have anymore stick butter. Can I use this stuff in the yellow tub?”

“Yes, that should be fine.”

30 minutes later

“Mom, these cookies smell funny.”

“What are you talking about?”

“They smell like burnt chocolate.”

“What did you use for butter?”

“The stuff in the yellow tub. You said it was OK.”

“What stuff in the yellow tub?”

“This stuff.”

“I can’t believe it’s not butter…..I guess now I can.”

Not to be used for cooking!

My hands look old

Above is a picture taken today of my left hand. The reason I am posting it here is because I want to know if you think I have old looking hands. I feel like my hands look like my grandmothers. They have scars and marks that make them look old, but also in general I think they look wrinkled and over used…..what do you think?

I’m not a Catholic and I don’t play one on TV

Last Wednesday was Ash Wednesday. The day that begins lent for practicing Catholics or non-practicing also as I am not really familiar with the religion. However, what amazes me is that each year I have Catholic friends that give up this or that for lent. One just gave up soda, another gave up swearing, and still another internet blogger (Annabelle) gave up internet usage (I would be out on about day 2).

This got me to thinking, what would I give up for 40 days that would be a sacrifice. I really had to think about this because I really don’t have any vices that I feel I could give up and feel like I was gaining spiritual growth from the experience. Then I thought about it….I would give up goofing off at work…and actually work (GASP, Shock,Terror)…I know. I thought about it a lot today and thought about how much more I could get done in a week if I would just give up surfing the net at work, updating my blog at work, surfing other blogs at work, or in general getting off the damn internet.

However, I know that if I did this I would be a total internet hog at home. I mean I can’t complete go without my internet…it keeps me connected to the world. I mean where else am I going to learn that the USB cable I need for my camera is only available through the manufacturing or that Britney Spears has once again lost her mind or that the next Season of Big Love on HBO will start soon. I mean these are vital pieces of information that I must have to survive…..

But I’ve made a decision….for one day (probably next week) I will no goof off for the whole day. I won’t check personal email, I won’t surf non-work related sites, I won’t text message or call anyone of a personal nature….

Thank God next Friday is a half day- ;-)

New Layout

So I have made a commitment to myself to change my layout about every 30 days or so. I figure it will keep you all interested and coming back to see what kind of changes I am making…LOL.

I choose this particular layout because I am going to CA in a few weeks and can’t wait to be on the beach. I know it is going to be cold and I know we won’t be able to swim, but just being on the beach is going to be fabulous!

I have a new post coming about chocolate chip cookies and butter….stay tuned!

Oscar Night

Tonight is the night that all the biggest and smallest stars in Hollywood and around the world gather to see who wins the big guy pictured above. Now I usually don’t watch the award shows, although I will check out the headlines the next day to see who won what….

Tonight is the night that we will see 5 African American actors nominated for awards, Jennifer Hudson, Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, Forest Whitaker, and Djimon Hounsou. This is a great thing because now we know that Hollywood is finally staring recognize that the performance is the most important part of the acting and not who’s who of Hollywood.

Right now I am sitting here watching the pre-oscar show. I am excited to see who wins what award and I will probably be up late tonight.

Hope you all get a chance to tune in!

Out of touch

It has been a few days since my last blog and it is not for lack of trying to think about something to blog about, it is basically because I don’t feel like I have anything really interesting to say.

Tonight is GNO (girls night out) for me and a couple of my close friends. We try and do this every month just go have dinner, drinks and a few laughs. I hope that tonight is fun. One of us has done something really stupid in the last couple of weeks (not me) and I think that tonight will be the night we get to give a hard time and put it to rest forever.

Tomorrow I am helping a friend pack and move to her new house she just bought. She is so excited. It is her first home that she has purchased on her own and I am so proud of her. This is a major step in the right direction for her.

On the marriage front, I am feeling BLAH. I think we are making progress, but I just don’t know for sure. There are days that I love him to death and other days that I just feel like I want out. I am going to make an appointment with a counselor this next week and see if I can work out these feelings I am having or at least be able to give it to someone else to handle.

That is about all that is happening in my life. The weather here has turned dark and cold and rainy again. I love AZ, but this winter weather has been odd. DraMa was here a couple of weeks ago (or less than that I think) and luckily she was here during a warm spell. Shortly after she left it got cold again. Bummer!

Here hoping you all have a great weekend. Hopefully my life and my postings will get better and more frequent soon……

Lisa

New Renter....

Let's give it up for One Man Band Width.....

One Man Band Width

I wish...

I wish the sun would come out here in AZ. It has been rainy and cold all day.


Here's wishing!



Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And i say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And i say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And i say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, i feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And i say it's all right
It's all right

Adventures in Urgent Care

Before my trip this last weekend I had to make a trip to Urgent Care. Now usually when I am not feeling well I will go ahead and live with the symptoms for a couple of days and then I will have to pretty much be convinced that I need to go to the doctor. However, there is an exception to this rule as with any rule....a bladder infection. Nothing will get me to call a doctor faster than seeing blood in my urine.....TMI?

Anyway, I woke up Friday morning the day we were to leave for our trip to horrendous pain....I mean screaming agony...OK...there will be no working today....I call in sick...call my doctor...she is out until Tuesday...but you can go to the local Urgent Care...for treatment....I'm told....

Now, I am sure every major city in America has an urgent care....if you are not familiar with these types of places allow me to describe them to you....they are the last place on earth you want to go to on a Friday morning. They are basically like a small emergency room without the emergency part thrown in. You could walk into one of these places....with your arm severed and you passing out from blood loss and they will tell you to take a number. So, the last place I wanted to be was Urgent Care, but I have a trip and I know that I will not survive if I don't get some drugs. So I wait and I wait and I wait and guess what....I wait some more....HOLY SHIT...I ever wait....3 flipping hours and guess what...another lady that was there after me got seen before I did....

I don't know how many of you have ever had to suffer from a bladder infection, but let me tell you .....they are not a walk in the park. They hurt all the time until you can at last take a little brown pill that turns your urine a florescent shade of orange...that the astronauts can see from outer space....then you find relief....but guess what...you can not take this miracle pill until....you guessed it....you pee in a cup.....try being 200th in line to pee in a damn cup....come on people....

So I finally get back to see the doctor and she insists that I have some other sort of infection, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis….Lady I know that your day is spent picking up snotty rags and listening to old/under privileged people tell you about every ache and pain, but unless someone crawled into my bed, slept with me or my husband without our knowledge (not including the alien probes we had a few months ago…lol) I am pretty damn well certain I don’t have any of those things…..oh…but we must check…so to get 24 little white pills of Cipro to cure my bladder infection I had to endure a pap smear, a blood test and some sort of scrap of my check…I guess that want to determine if I am the mother of Anna Nicole’s baby…..

BTW…I am feeling much better!

Small Town Saturday Night

I have been out of town the last couple of days. My grandmother turned 80 years old or her birthday party to celebrate her becoming 80 years old was this weekend. We made the trip back to NM for the party. It was a really good trip. She had no idea that we were coming or that the party was even happening.

While we were there my younger daughter got to get her birthday present from my parents a little violin. She has been wanting to get one for the longest time....but I just haven't made the time to go and get her measured for one. She loves it....but I can already tell this is going to be a noisy gift...OH Well, the joys of having kids...with grandparents that spoil them rotten...

This was the first trip back home that I really felt like I was really able to just be myself and not feel like I had to put on airs for anyone. I just let my hair down and was totally who I wanted to be...and you know what....my family was OK with it. I mean I didn't do anything to shock anyone or to make anyone one think I had changed....I just was ME....and my Mom actually commented on how much she liked the "new" me....hhhmmm...wonder what she thought about me before...LOL.

The drive was the worst part of the whole experience....it sucked...it always does...10 hours in a car driving with others on the road that don't want to be there as much as you don't want to be there makes for extreme ROAD RAGE!!!

Unfortunately for me, tomorrow is a work day...I know that many places will have the day off and it will make my commute that much better...but man...right now I really don't want to get up in the morning for work...

I am sure I will have some more tales from the weekend at some point this week...at least I will have material to write about....

Happy Reading!

Can you say...WHATEVER!

Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie"

You always seem to have a hot date, even though you never try to meet anyone. A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people Your flirting style: 100% natural What turns you off: serious relationship talks Why you're hot: you're totally addicting

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

New layout...

I'm bringing sexy back...yeah....

Not really...but how sexy are the lips on my new layout...HELLO. Don't you love them...I mean I am not into chicks...total man lover here...but I could really just kiss those lips....look how full and shiny they are.....totally totally sexy.

I've been told I have sexy lips...I have big pouty lips....kind of like Angelia Jolie, but not that big. I wish I could figure out how to get my lips all sexy and red and shiny like the ones on my blog. Everytime I try I always end up with lipstick somewhere it is not supposed to be.....or I end up losing it all on a cup or donut or something....why is that....

Are big beautiful lips back in style...I mean unlike hair styles or length of fingernails or clothes I can't change what my lips are...they are big...and they are pretty kissable...but wasn't it not to long ago that small thin lips were in....if so...both of my girls are screwed because of all the things they got from me....they got my lips....KISS

What to blog about today……

Well, I guess I have already blogged about valentines day yesterday….I guess I can blog about what my valentines day was like. First of all my kids were not with me today, which was fine because I am not big on celebrating Valentines Day with my kids. I mean I love them and they are my kids, but Valentines day is for lovers….and I don’t think that means that I have to celebrate with my kids....I mean I will buy them a gift and some candy, but they don’t necessarily have to be WITH me on this day


For those of you who read my blog on a daily or even regular basis you will be surprised to find out that I had a hard time getting into celebrating this Valentines Day with my husband. We have been having some major problems in our relationship….I mean major problems. Problems so big that I was thinking about cheating or leaving or both. We are still having problems and while we are both at fault and both working on trying to get the love back in our relationship we are both really sensitive to everything each other says. I can say something as simple as I was thinking about how things used to be when we would do things together and he would take offense at it because he felt like I was putting him down..

Anyway, I didn’t really know if things are really getting better or if we are just glossing over the real issues. I think back to 6 years ago when we met each other. I was just ending my last marriage and really shouldn’t have been dating or anything. However, I wanted someone in my life. One thing led to another and next thing I know we are living together and talking about marriage….then I am walking down the aisle. I guess looking back I should have waited and thought about it more.

Does that mean that I don’t love him….no…I believe that I do love him…I just wonder if I am still IN love with him. I mean he does things that are so annoying and I just want to smack the shit outta him and tell him to snap outta it. Things that I didn’t know or realize he did before….like tap his foot when he reads or crunches his ice….or types with two fingers or drinks with his pinkie up…

I know most of these things sound really trivial and stupid…and they probably are…and I know that it is these little things that are just the symptom of a bigger problem that is not being dealt with. I know that there is something else lying in the back of our marriage that is lurking and waiting to pounce…..and I find myself questioning if I will want to fight to save this marriage once that lurking thing does rear its ugly head.

The one thing I realized about relationships and Valentines Day is that if you are in a good one and you are in love or even lust then shopping for gifts cards etc is easy. But when your relationship has hit a low and you have to find a card/gift/etc….for someone who annoys the piss outta you….it is hard. I swear I was standing in the damn Hallmark store for an hour the other day going…Nope I don’t feel this way….OH that is too mean to get….yes I want to bang his head into a brick wall….no they don’t make cards that say that…
The other day when I was watching TV and I saw the commercial with the bunny that was singing the telegram to the girl who was being broken up with because she was not in her boyfriends cell phone network….I laughed out loud. My husband was like that is mean…it was a fucking joke…ya jerk….made to sell stupid phones. For about a ½ second I thought…what a great way to breakup with someone….maybe I can do that to end my marriage….

I still don’t honestly know what is going to happen between us. I honestly don’t know if I want to work it out…I honestly don’t know how I feel about marriage at this point….

The one thing I do know….finding a card this year was HELL.

St. Valentine.......I Hate this Holiday!

I don't know if it is the commercialism of it or the amount of money that is spent or what....I just really hate it. It's not that I don't have someone to call my valentine and it's not that I don't want to celebrate that fact....but really come on...a whole day dedicated to what...hearts, roses, flowers, candy......12 more lbs. to add to the scale.

Who decided that this holiday was supposed to celebrated with all the above stuff......I hate going to the stores and seeing all the candy and flowers and pink hearts....Red...Red is my favorite color and even I am sick of it by this time of the year......

My nail guy asked me today if I wanted red nails..HELL NO.....I am sick of red....my girls got me a great gift for valentines...RED PJ's, which will sit in my drawer until next winter because I am sick of it....tomorrow...everyone in my office will be wearing pink or red or some variation....UUUGGHHH the insanity has got to stop....tomorrow I am wearing...BLACK.

Anyway......................

Happy Valentines Day!

Junie B. Jones.....

This little girl has captured my heart....actually the author that writes the book has captured my heart. Not since Judy Blume have I really enjoyed children's. This little girl has attitude, is loud...and is all about getting her way...most of the time.

My 7 year old just discoverd her and we are enjoying reading the books together. My oldest who is now 11 brought home the books in the first grade and I am glad that I purchased all of the paperbacks.....where else can you find a little girl that is so forthright to say...Disneyland is a fib...and be able to back it up...or say she wants to be Janitor on job day...and mean it...

Junie B.....You are my hero!!!!!!!!!!